It’s Like the Ocean

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Another post for the wonderful She Reads Truth #SheSharesTruth challenge. (Joshua 1:8-9)

I sat watching the waves crash onto the shore, feet dug deep in the sand, absolutely mesmerized.

Transcendent beauty painted against the backdrop of power and strength. 

Life, healing, wholeness, delight, joy, and majestic glory hovering over might, massive depths, commanding respect and fear.

I thought about that thing I was angry about. That circumstance I knew He had the power to change and wasn’t. And so I was frustrated. And I didn’t want to read. I didn’t want to listen. (Yes, I was trying to boycott the God of the Universe…and didn’t get very far.) And soon, I was desperate for His love once again.

His Word.

It’s like the ocean.

Beautiful tension. Unmistakable contrast. 

The very Word that saved my soul, healed my gashes, and soothed my aches has also incited long, sweaty wrestling matches…igniting internal struggles reaching to the very depths of my soul.

And it is the strangest struggle. A battle I know I won’t win, but I try.

My humanity fighting for breath. His gracious hand heavy on me. 

And it is the strangest tension.

For it is the very words that command respect, honor, and submission, that produce abundant joy. And peace. And life. And hope.

The very thing that has the capacity to stir my rebellious spirit, always drives me to my knees in surrender.

The very thing that I push hard against, run from, holds me tight in arms of peace, and soon softly quiets my struggle.

The fight. Temporal and eternal. Flesh and majesty. My desires pitted against His love, goodness.

His grip tight, gracious, healing, molding my desires to His.

And that grip is grace. And that wrestling is grace. And love.

Because it is in the very struggle that I am changed.

And that wrestling drives pride to surrender.

Confusion to peace.

Anger to joy.

For it is from the very thing I want to run, that I am commanded to hold dear.

To meditate on. To love. To obey.

It is the very Word of God.

A sword. Sharper than the most jagged edges of sin. Than the hardest hearts and most calloused hands. The only cure for the sin sick soul. The only answer to the hopelessness. The only healing balm. Able to stand against, to fight, the most deadly thoughts, sin, pride, anger.

It is my air to breathe. My water to drink. There is no life outside of those words. There is no light outside of its shelter.

In those words are found life abundant. Words that will make the way prosperous, successful.

Why do I run from those Words? Words of promise and truth.

For it is in those Words that He is near.

It is in those Words that there is strength and courage. 

It is from those Words I am never to depart.

It is behind the shield of those Words I will not tremble. I will not be dismayed. 

It is in those Words that He. Is. With. Me.

It is in those Words I find meaning and hope.

It is in those Words I find love.

It is to those Words I will cling, and never let go. I will not let it depart from my mouth, from my heart. Regardless of the pain, regardless of the confusion, regardless of the ache, regardless of the circumstances.

For HE is my life. And it is in His Words I find life abundant. For the Lord MY God is with me. And I need not be afraid.

“This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:8-9

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What about you? Have you felt this tension? Have you ever not wanted to read those life-giving words, knowing they would heal you? Have you run from its promises toward your own desires? How did He draw you back? What did you learn?

(Thanks so much for reading.)

P.S. For those who follow this blog, I apologize for the lag between posts this week–I was out of town, taking much needed time for refreshment and relaxation:) Sitting on the sand, contemplating this post, actually!

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14 thoughts on “It’s Like the Ocean

  1. “His grip tight, gracious, healing, molding my desires to His. And that grip is grace. And that wrestling is grace. And love. Because it is in the very struggle that I am changed.” Amen. The struggle is real when we want to walk for God and our flesh fights against it time and time again. But every time we surrender after the struggle, we how He has been changing us and refining us and chipping away/chiseling us. Love it.

  2. Yes. I have run from His Words a few times. I have run from His Words when it is hard to love those who have hurt me. I have run from His Words when I don’t want to do something I know I probably should do. I struggle with this especially when it comes to dealing with people who I don’t trust. I know that He is my Protection, though. I know that He loves me. I know that He….the God of the universe….is patient….slow to anger…..forgiving….loves me like I am His child. Loves me like no other. Pacifies me like no other. How can I hide? How can I run? He knows exactly where I am anyway…and besides…I can’t bear not having His hand on my life…or hearing from Him…I know I disobey…I know I mess up….I know I suck at loving others like He wants me to….and I truly know that He is the best because I have tried my best and have failed….but I also know that because He is best…I can fail….and I can surround myself in His strong love….that can do the work I fail to do and has done all the work I try to claim I’ve done anyway. God bless you!

  3. I love vs. 9 of this week. It was absolutely what I needed to hear as I really feel God is speaking to me. I am afraid to step out and do different things for God, and I need to remember his promise that He is always, always with me. What more do I need?! Love your take on this passage!

    • Amen, Heidi! I couldn’t agree more. Isn’t it an incredible promise that He is always with us? Wow! What a privilege! Praise the Lord for speaking to us right in the spot we need to hear it! Blessings!

  4. I love the way you write. I’ve read your posts the lat couple of weeks, but I never left a comment. You have a way of bringing out simple truths in a profound and beautiful way. Thank you for giving me things to ruminate about from new perspectives.

    I ran from those words for a long time because I thought they were too good to be true. I understood them with my mind, but I couldn’t connect with them in my heart. Life has a funny way of changing your perspective, though. It’s been a rough journey with lots of lessons learned, and no matter how much I turn to them–to Him, there will always be some level of tension. My humanity–the very thing that makes me beautiful to Him–is the very thing that pushes me away because I have times of doubt or feelings of unworthiness. But those are the times I know I need to most turn back and cling to the life and the hope in His promises.

    • Girl, yes….absolutely. Your words are truth. Isn’t it so true!? Your post is so encouraging to me. Some day, I’d love to hear your testimony, because it sounds beautiful. Thank you! Blessed by you. xox

  5. Thank you for this post! You speak my heart.. -Blessings!

    Beauty for Ashes
    ..to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve… to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. Isaiah 61:3

    http://beauty4ashes04.blogspot.com

    >

  6. This is so beautifully written, and the struggle is so very real! I have felt it many times myself, my sinful nature sometimes in spite of me wrestling with the God I want to serve yet I try to cling to myself. But you are right, His Word is everything. Everything. Thanks for sharing!!

    • Kelly, isn’t it?? The struggle is so strange, but at the same time, the struggle is so wonderful because it is when I truly see Him, who He is, His abundant grace and mercy. His Word is like water to a parched soul. Thank you for your words! Blessings and hugs:) xox

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